![]() ![]() ![]() Positioning yourself among so many people seems to be a problem for several girls: Kim and Acid handle it by adjusting, while Robbie prefers to stay planted and make a salty comment. All of the contestants do at least acceptable work. Just kidding! I’m sure he’s always available. The man behind the camera is Mathu Andersen, I guess because Mike Ruiz was also unavailable. I can only assume that the producers know who I am and are trying to kill me with recap-related stress.Īfter the obligatory video and applause-fueled staircase descent, Ru and the hat-shaped alien parasite that now controls her announce the season’s first challenge: a photo shoot with all the past winners (excluding Bianca, who is apparently already too good for this show). Oh God I’ve written so much and we’ve barely taken a bite of this 90-minute meal. I’m excited to see how that particular game of emotional Jenga plays out. Coyote when he realizes there’s no ground beneath him. I’m sure a single comment about her receding hairline would send her plummeting into the abyss like Wile E. The 100 th queen, which is apparently important for some reason, is Derrick Barry, a Britney impersonator who cut carbs out of her diet to make room for even more confidence. I think she thinks she’s being Bianca, but like, we’ve already got one of those and she’s perfect, so sit down, Seattle: we’re good. Sure, we could all enjoy her aesthetic, but that would deprive a certain someone of the chance to make another smart remark. Exhibit B: Chi Chi DeVayne, a country-fried trash bag wearing a country-fried trash bag. Though Team NYC has a light quip or two about the choice, Miss Turner bottles up the bitter so that she can unleash it behind closed doors in a confessional. The next couple entrances really cement that as her brand.Įxhibit A: Laila McQueen, a teeny, spooky little charmer who skipped the stilettos in favor of that goth staple, the shoe made for someone whose legs are two different lengths. Robbie Turner isn’t into it, but she’s an enemy of fun. But also: come on, she’s wonderful.) She, Thorgy, and Acid slip into some of the greatest shenanigans I have ever seen. (I have no inside information, but I do know Bob and I sure am biased. (Full disclosure: I have met Thorgy on several occasions, though she thinks it’s the first time every time.)Īnd then Season 8 winner Bob the Drag Queen stomps through the door. Speaking of joy: Brooklyn royalty Thorgy Thor is here to brighten the mood, serving up what can only be described as pizzazz. I have no shade to throw at Kim: her mug is beat to death, her lisp is adorable, and she delivers donut puns without shame. You know who could help with that? Kim Chi. It’s too bad she didn’t know this was happening today, because I bet if she had planned in advance she could have gotten someone to teach her how to paint her face. Robbie Turner is up next, and she’s dangerous for a whole different reason. Her drag is so dangerous I need something to hold onto whenever the camera pans to her. It’s OK: she’s trailed by Acid Betty, who has enough presence for at least four people. Speaking of which: Naysha Lopez proudly asserts that “the beauty is here” during her entrance, without mentioning that the personality is still at home in bed. She’s like Jeb! for the liberal set: three letters and a piece of punctuation, related to a former winner, and prone to disappearing into the background. Next up: Violet’s drag mom, Dax ExclamationPoint. Sin-Tee-Ah starts the day by talking about her cu-cu and doesn’t stop for the rest of the episode. She’s followed by Cynthia Lee Fontaine, who is what would happen if Tammie Brown and Alyssa Edwards had raised a child in San Juan. While those might be her only qualities, they’ll be enough. The first glamazon to march into our hearts is Naomi Smalls, who is young, tiny, leggy, and beautiful. (To avoid any legal issues: don’t do poppers on a trampoline.) Remember how cheap everything looked during the first season? Remember how everyone had catch phrases? Remember how Season 7 was kind of bad? You can wipe that last memory from your mind, because judging by this premiere, Season 8 is going to be more fun than doing poppers on a trampoline with the whole Pit Crew. The 100 th episode of the greatest television show of all time starts off with a victory lap in the form of a minute-long rundown of the past 99 episodes. ![]() Is anyone else hyperventilating? I’m hyperventilating. ![]()
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